Check out Part 1 here ► https://youtu.be/vAttKklSsrc
The 5 Step Process
Step 1- Get your head straight
Fix your mental framework around women, sex, and dating. Holding negative biases towards those things will only hinder your chances at successfully meeting and dating women. Develop confidence so that it’s easier to put yourself out there and hold your boundaries. And then clarify your goals in sex, dating, and relationships. Do you want a long term relationship, do you want to casually date, or are you just looking for a one night stand? Do you know what kind of personalities or lifestyles mesh well with you? The better you know what you want, the easier it’ll make dating.
Step 2- Develop attractive traits
Understand what women want in men and why, and then give it to them. Women typically look for your ability to be effective at life and the willingness to use those effective traits to do effective things. Reflect on your physical and mental health, your intelligence, willpower, kindness, and protectiveness. Are any of those areas lacking? Focusing on your weakest spots first will be far more effective in attracting women than emphasizing your one or two strong skills and ignoring the rest.
Step 3- Display attractive proofs
You may be a smart, mentally stable, and well-liked guy. But it doesn’t matter much if no one knows it. This is where signaling comes in. And when you’re trying to display attractive traits to women: always show, don’t tell. Anyone can shout about how smart or rich or caring they are, but only people who are the real deal can actually show it. Most women know to ignore any kind of big talk and focus their attention on guys who are displaying positive proofs. These would include social proof of having friends, being funny or outgoing; material proof of financial stability and responsibility; aesthetic proof of being well groomed and knowing how to dress yourself; and romantic proof of showing interest and commitment in a woman.
Step 4- Go where the women are
Location is essential when it comes to dating and finding the right woman for you. Most dating is based on geography, who’s in your proximity, so your city, college, workplace, gym, coffee shops, etc are all “mating markets” where you can meet women and plays a factor in how easy or hard it is to meet them. If you live in a small town with few single women, it’s going to be a lot harder to find someone who’s a good fit for you than if you live in a big city with millions of single women. You’ll also run into different types of women depending on whether you go to a club, the gym, or a coffee shop, too. The book goes further in depth regarding mating markets, but for best results, you ideally want to find a place with a lot of single women and subcultures that mesh with yours (for example, cities like Austin or NYC might be better for short term relationships while other cities like Cincinnati or Louisville would be better for long term).
Step 5- Take action
Women tend to pay particular attention to how you hold a conversation to see if you are mentally stable, smart, kind, and empathetic and your skill (or lack thereof) plays a large part in her attraction to you. Again, the authors break down in great detail how to sharpen your conversation skills, but here are the basic rules. 1. Be a good host. 2. Soften your body language. 3. Establish commonality. 4. Gauge and respond to feedback. 5. Don’t act too excited or too aloof. 6. Ask questions and actively listen to her responses. 7. Respond with validation, insight, or debate. 8. Connect with vulnerability.
And then remember that when you’re on a date, it is a mutual assessment. Just as she is evaluating you, you are evaluating her to see if she aligns with what you’re looking for, your values, and your goals.
Mate is an excellent book if you feel lost when it comes to dating as they will provide you with a clear step by step process of what you need to know and how to get started. But don’t forget that you will have to put in the hard work of self improvement. Fortunately, though, the more you take action, the more you’ll learn from your experiences to build a positive feedback cycle and get better and better over time. This book is so dense with useful information on women and dating, that my video would probably be close to an hour long if I tried to cover everything. So pick up this book and start reading. Don’t forget to like and S U B S C R I B E ► to BePrimo - We post new videos every week!